the vows are being written, the food is being prepared, the guests are arriving... this saturday my favorite dad (mfd) will be marrying my wicked stepmother mws) in the vineyard.

it shall be a grand celebration of love, and i am looking forward to everything except perhaps mfd's decision to wear tuxedo shorts. no really, tuxedo shorts. but i love him anyway. ;-)

if i seem strangely absent over the next few days, just know that i am busy with the usual family wedding hullaballo - or drunk on great wine - or both.

last night the big guy, our friend funky dave, and I went to spend the evening at a barbeque with mama and papa g and their kids. although our age, they have four (!) children. all of them are amazingly beautiful, healthy kids - and generally they are happy to boot.

while i had a blast tickling tummies and spitting watermelon seeds, i was reminded of why we are waiting to have children, as the kids' uncle exlaimed: "ummmm.... i think little simon is eating butter straight out of the tub. with a butter knife!"

mmmmm. butter. who needs corn?

as previously noted in yesterday's blog - we saw suzanne vega and dave wilcox at the portland zoo over the weekend. one of the big guy's oldest friends (we'll call him papa g) and his wife (mama g) treated us like royalty the entire evening, as that was their wedding gift to us.

you see, the first time i fell in love with the big guy (although it was the second time that we had met) was at a dave wilcox concert in salt lake city. by some stroke of luck, a friend seated me between the big guy and papa g. over the course of the evening i was crooned to, given church giggles at highly innappropriate moments, and was generally harassed by the two boys - but ahhhh... young love.

anyhow - every time dave comes to town, we all try and get together to see him - as he is a great singer, guitartist and storyteller. he is folksy to the core, but his songs are the perfect blend of humor and bittersweet. he has a handle on describing life as it is - and he captures it in what i can only describe as american. this last friday he was as good as he's ever been, wrapping up with a standing ovation and an encore - not so bad, as he was the opening act.

the great thing about the concert - besides the fact that it was a warm summer night and we were sprawled on a fuzzy blanket with a bottle of wine or two - is that dave and suzanne are the perfect compliment to one another. they both have an unparalleled gift for narrative. they are both soothing to listen to. if only they had done any number together....

it was my second time seeing suzanne live - and again i was bowled over by her voice and her presence on stage. i couldn't help but yearn for her band to leave (no matter how talented they were) so that we would have the beauty and simplicity of just suzanne and her guitar. for the few songs that this happened, it was magic. her rendition of the queen and the soldier brought the pinprick of tears to my eyes, as it did the first time i heard it.

as the sun faded into black, and the animals retreated into the darkness to sleep - we folded up the blanket and started the trek back to the truck. it was lovely.

brief post because i am feeling light headed and vomitous. the big guy and i both seem to be cursed with flu-like illness. especially terrible on a ninety-something day.

two things i will blog on at a later date:
1) new, fabulous bicycle. (isn't it cute?)
2) suzanne and dave @ the zoo

after dinner, we continued on to vic's because the p.o.w. boys were drinking cheap beer and watching wrestling on the telly. i have to say, i was not that excited - but the big guy seemed to be, and i like him enough to put up with such things.

now... i don't know if any of my (3) readers ever watches wrestling, but i really haven't since i was a child. and even then, it was a rare torture imposed by my older brother. but i have to say that last night... i was entertained.

you see there was this wrestler - a part of a tag team match - and he was not only scrawny, but he only had one leg. they catapulted him at the other team, they beat his good leg with a metal chair, he threw ineffective punches at fat guys in shiny underwear. this was comical. hilarious. but the best was the crowd in the bar:

"that kid doesn't have a leg to stand on!"
"they've gotten off on the wrong foot!"
"he's standing on his last leg!"

it rocked.

lst night the big guy and i went out for a bite to eat at the horse brass, and as we passed the specials board i said "hon, they have an appetizer of baked brie and roasted garlic." when the waitress arrived to take our order the big guy proceeded to order two newcastles, and the apple kaiser with baked brie. the waitress and i just stared.

then she said, "pardon me, the what?"

he exclaimed - "the apple kaiser!"

evidently, not only does he have cotton in his ears, he was very excited about eating a sandwich made with apples baked into a kaiser roll - with baked brie and garlic.

once our "applekaiser" arrived, we proceeded to chow and drink and make merry. i managed to land a half of a cherry tomato in his beer (mmm.... chunky beer) and he managed to launch a pickle down the front of my overalls.

because of his obviously unacceptable behaviour, i picked up his half-finished beer and threatened: "don't make me give you an upside-down partyhat - squish squish!" at which point we were both nearly in tears from the sheer beaniness of it all.

then we made fun beer garnishes with apple wedges (yes, the waitress brought us a sliced apple as a part of our brie plate) and pickles. a pickle slice perched correctly on the side of the glass looks suspiciously like a lime.

at the end of our meal i asked our poor, poor waitress if i "could please have a box to put the sausage in" - which brought groans all around. as there were no boxes for my spare banger - she brought us some tin foil. we wrapped the banger in the foil and attached a carrot stick to the top and made the carrot hammer which was used to threaten pedestrians on the way home.

after a bit of analysis, i've decided that this is the logical, mental degradation that happens after a year and a half at a very corporate job.

• a gratuitous link about cheese economics
• judging the dubiousness of saints
• dailyPDX - online pdx alternative for fun things to do
• best salon headline today: hundreds wait for smelly flower to bloom
• 2nd best salon headline today: polar bear turns purple after medication
• more purple bear coverage here
• woz and the panopticon
• crime & st. john's - the true facts
• cryptic instructions about food
• i'm considering a career change
• if i had a gay boyfriend
(watch 9:30 NBC tonight, but the hour show on bravo is better)

it was recently revealed to me that a friend and his wife are expecting a baby come january. i am excited for them as new parents, but i am also excited for the rest of the world.

if the parents are any indication, the child will be smart, beautiful AND artistic... not to mention the fact that it will be raised by two loving people.

all children should be blessed with such good fortune, and congrats to the parents to be.

dooce wins the prize for writing the best paragraph of the day:

Amber didn’t receive a rose that episode, perhaps to the utter dismay of most of America, because America loves the Olive Garden almost as much as it loves boobs as big as boulders. And if Andrew couldn’t love a woman because she loves the Olive Garden, then people, the terrorists have already won.

imagine our surprise as a beautiful, quite large, peahen ambled down our street the other day. as i went to get a better look, she went up the stairs of the house across the street and glared at me from the porch.

lego or legos. you decide. (remember that the earliest comments are at the bottom)

the weekend was fantastic - it was lady j's birthday, and we spent some quality time with ms. tea drinking, eating and identifying plants at the oregon coast. it was the perfect way to start a weekend.

the big purchase of the weekend was that the big guy and i finally invested in an air conditioner for the bedroom. i'm happy to say that he and the girls are sleeping like babies at the moment. this is good as it is supposed to be in the mid-nineties for the next few days....

and so you know - my network at home is down, and i'm under some deadline pressure at work.... so i may be sparse until mid-week.

the second speaker is much better kelly goto - she just used the term "gadget whore." and she's talking about tivo. user experience and intuitive interfaces of the future. good stuff.

personal telco is providing free albeit spotty wireless access at webvisions. it it much appreciated.

currently listening to "the future of emarketing" thanks to dr. u.n. mesh, a prof. from the university of washington. it's also known as marketing 101 for dummies. the message is that e-marketing is no different than any marketing, not that any of us learned that lesson as we were being laid off or anything... oh, and spam "destroys brand equity." thanks for that pointer too...

thank god for my coffee or i'd be asleep... it's bound to get better though.

is webvisions.... to bring my laptop or not to bring my laptop? that is the question. (yay wireless!) will you be there?

this morning the alarm went off too early. as soon as i had peeled my eyelids back and the world came into a nice blurry focus, i saw it. it moved across the ceiling with frightening alacrity toward the space above the bed, its body easily as wide as a quarter, it's legs thick and black.

you see, i am the designated spider killer in the house, as the big guy is severely aracnophobic. but i retain the title only by default. if there is another able bodied individual in the house other than my husband, they are free to play the hero.

but this morning i was not only alone, i was not quite awake, and i could not figure out the proper means of removing said spider. you see, we have tremendously sloped ceilings in the bedroom - and at the point of the cross beam i would not be able to reach the ceiling even if perched atop the 7 foot ladder that is actually set-up next to the bed at the moment. even if i had been able to reach the little bugger, i have major reservations about going for the kill while the spider is above me, as it often makes a leap straight for my jugular.

having exhausted every idea, i decided to just get up, and go downstairs. the big guy's head was being guarded by buttons who was sleeping on my pillow. (yes, my pillow. i was pillowless when i awoke this morning).

i reached the ground floor only to discover our other cat, zoe chasing something frantically across the room. at least this one was quite a bit smaller than the devil upstairs. as she can generally corner the spiders successfully, rarely can she actually kill them - so i grabbed the nearest shoe and created the inevitable, audible crunch. by the time i left the house, i still was not forgiven for taking away her playmate.

by the time i returned upstairs to find my cardigan the ceiling spider was gone. G - O - N - E. nowhere to be found. i'm praying that it was frightened away by the big guy's morning breath, and stays clear of the bed. i am feeling slightly guily however, at leaving my poor husband victim to his greatest fear.

and finally, as i was bolting down the front stairs toward my car i was enveloped by a sticky web. already prone to that heebie jeebie feeling, chills ran down my spine as i did the little get - this - spider - off - of - me - dance.

ewwww. the day can only get better.

pirates of the carribean is THE BEST MOVIE OF THE SUMMER.

yeah, i know what you're saying.... you're saying "but james, you haven't seen full throttle, finding nemo or the hulk!" well kids, it doesn't matter. this movie has it all - swashbuckling, humor, cursed evil pirate zombies, treasure, a parrot, a monkey and johnny depp in a funny hat.

i bet you're also saying "but james, christ! it's a movie made out of a disney ride." and well yes, i agree that it sounds stupid, but all of the things that you vaguely remember from the ride when you were 10 years old, you will see in the movie. and they work. (but beware of haunted mansion which was previewed before the movie. god help us all. the only thing worse could be if they made it's a small world into a movie)

truthfully, i have not been that entertained in as long as i can remember. and in the spirit of goonies - none of it is gratuitous. take your nephew, your little brother or your grandmother. you will laugh out loud during the movie, clap afterward, and proclaim "aaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" or simply "pirate" as your stock answer to most things for the next few days.

and as for dear johnny, he was simply hilarious. every twirl of the mustache or raise of an eyebrow invoked a smile. i'm not one of those silly girls who swoon for johnny's big brown eyes, but if stranded on a desert island with a good stash of rum....

the only thing it was missing was a cameo by steve buscemi. no, seriously.

but go - see it - now. what are you waiting for? and no, don't wait for video. see it on the big screen.

in honor of bastille day, i thought i'd share my one bastille day story. during the summer between my junior and senior year of high school, i went on what can only be described as a very loosely run high school trip to europe. five countries, three weeks, twenty five kids, and a bus. the only rule governing the trip was that if the bus was leaving, you'd better be on it.

as luck would have it, our last destination on this fabulous tour was paris, and we arrived for our three day stay on july 14th. my roomie and best friend on the trip was a girl by the name of alex fuller - she looked something like a j. crew model with long a lanky limbs and a sweet smile. as two very young american girls, often wandering about alone, we attracted a bit of attention.

anyhow - that afternoon we spent at the musée d'orsay, drinking in the paintings and chatting about the possibilities of the next few days. as we were about to leave the museum we were approached by two young californian boys, perhaps a few years older - and they invited us to their condo (owned by one of their families) to watch the fireworks. they seemed harmless enough, and we got directions and their phone number.

at dusk, alex and i left the hotel all dolled up and took a cab to their condo, which was all of two blocks from the eiffel tower. it was phenomenol. we met the boys, and there were a few more people there - one girl from belgium and another from germany, and everyone was drinking and making merry conversation. we climbed up to the roof to watch the fireworks - it was a gorgeous, if a bit chilly, evening - and we laughed at the throngs of people in the square near the tower. we had the perfect seats.

afterwards we strolled through the rue de seine which was packed with people of all ages drinking at the cafes and wandering through the streets. unfortunately, the pack of us speaking english made us an unfortunate target for the young boys throwing firecrackers in the streets. terrified of being burned alive - literally - we returned to the condo. there i spent one of the most pleasant evenings of my life.

one of the californian boys was named ryan kavanaugh - strikingly good looking and well spoken, we hit it off immediately. as i was newly involved with the man who would later be my husband - i was not looking for a vacation hook-up. i was really just alex's right hand woman, making sure that she could chat up ryan's friend.

yet it was one of those rare occassions that you meet someone that you feel like you've known all of your life. (or perhaps from a previous life?) instantly you are comfortable and the conversation flows freely. we had the same sense of humor, similar life experiences, and were a good intellectual match. we shared a blanket while sitting on the roof, and watched the sun rise over paris together.

as alex and i left we exchanged contact info with the boys. on the way into the hotel i was chastised by my favorite chaperone on the trip - mr. krenkle - so that we would not waste the entire day sleeping. after that, ryan and i talked on the phone a few times or sent letters - it was the days before the convenience of email....

it's striking though, that i still cherish that evening - i truly met a kindred spirit. if for some reason you ever find this, ryan - drop me a line, will you?

i realize after reading the last two posts, that it seems horribly pretentious splurging on fancy meals at fine restaurants, especially twice in one week.

although i do hate the term - the husband and i are what is known as dinks - Double Income No Kids. this allows us a kind of freedom that is not available to most people... and that we may never have again.

more than that, it should be mentioned that food is a priority - it is our chosen luxury - it is the one price we never quibble over. we discuss whether or not to scrimp and save on the electric hedge trimmer, we've decided to hand wash our dishes rather than buy a new dish washer. but when it comes to good food - it's true, we indulge.

my family have been regular customers at riccardo's in lake oswego since my parents followed me to oregon five years ago. a great little establishment on boone's ferry, they serve up beautiful italian cuisine in an equally beautiful restaraunt.

i have to admit that one of my favorite things about it is the fact that i am a regular. the owner knows me by name, and greets me when i walk in the door. he asks after my father and congratulates me on my marriage.

our waiter, christopher starts us with an appetizer of vegetable fritters without even asking, and recommends the perfect bottle of red wine that he describes as nothing other than 'sexy - perfect for you two.' (i was dining with the lovely lady j who owns the sauciest black shirt on the planet). christopher knows that i will take the rustic minestrone over the house salad any day, but that i always want to hear about the other soup, just in case.

yet there is much more to riccardo's than the outstanding service that comes with the status of being a long standing patron. in both food and atmosphere, they found the perfect balance between homestyle and gourmet. the food is filling and impeccably prepared. the portions are inviting, but not overwhelming (enabling them to serve high quality food without being unreasonably expensive). during the summer you sit in a courtyard with fountains and cascading foliage to watch the sunset. never once have i rushed through a meal, and not once have i had less than three courses.

on saturday i ate my standard - the ravioli. each night brings a different ravioli, and saturday's was stuffed with cheese and mushrooms in a brandy butter sauce. it was light and flavorful. and the texture of the pasta provided the perfect barrier between the delicate sauce and the bright flavor held within. lady j indulged in the filet mignon. the meat was brilliant, but paired with the portabello and roasted garlic, it made an elegant meal, beautiful in it's sheer simplicity. she never touched the pasta on the side.

we ended the evening with a dessert known as la diva - described as a vanilla cream torte, it was something like cheesecake, but a touch lighter and a bit less sweet. the addition of a dap of whipped cream and boysenberries took it over the top. we were the last patrons of the evening to depart.

twice in the last few days i've had the experience of eating out - once at el gaucho last thursday, argued to be one of portland's finest steakhouses, and once at my family's favorite - riccardo's in lake oswego.

el gaucho is always a fun experience, as i like to sit and watch my fellow patrons. it is primarily a steakhouse, and located on the grand floor of the benson, portland's old-school ritzy hotel. the clientele includes families who are likely hotel guests (but there's not a burger or sandwich to be found on the menu, and who pays $28 for a steak for a 10 year old?), and your usual assortment of men in suits. one of my favorite moments of the evening was when there was a literal high-five at the table next to us between two young businessman. i made a snide remark to the big guy about it, and we had a nice chuckle.

we were celebrating a good friend's birthday, and we were a bit conspicuous as we were the non-business mid-twenties crowd. but i would venture to say that most people noticed us less than the strange couple next to us who were flashing mini-maglites about to read the menu. it was dark, but not that dark. a waiter quickly ran over and recited the menu from memory, rather than have the couple provide a rave-like atmosphere.

we did the whole nine yards - from the ceaser tossed table side, including the made-to-order dressing, raw egg and all. we drank a few bottles of obscenely expensive california cabernet, a 1998 which was surprisingly good with a nice hint of clove and a clean finish, and one that was less than memorable... but then again, i'm not a cab fan.

the dinners themselves were also good, although mine perhaps was not as fabulous as the others. i had a pork porterhouse, which reinforced my belief that quality matters more than quantity when it comes to meat. it was however, the only pork on the menu and i was not interested in lobster or steak. the flavor was good, but fatty and a little tougher than a nice tenderloin. the saving grace was that it was smothered in a homemade, chunky applesauce that was just two parts sweet, one part tart, and accompanied by mashed sweet potatos that were the texture of a cloud.

the big guy surprised me - he is generally a voracious steak eater, but he ordered the grilled rack of lamb, with a beautiful, rich reduction sauce. the meat was tender, the sauce was rich. this meal hit the mark. i've never seen him savor a meal quite like that.

even more than the food perhaps, i truly enjoyed the service. the ladies were always served first. a glass was never empty. the waiter alternated between being invisible and personable. and each waiter in the place navigated the crowded floor with phenomenal grace. of note as well, they were all men - save the cleavage clad hostess - and were dressed in tails.

between dinner and desert, the big guy and i excused ourselves from the group and took our cocktails into the benson lobby, where a friend of his was playing jazz. we listened and giggled while perched at the lobby bar, and he provided the requisite murmurs of approval at the duo. i sipped on the most exquisite sidecar ever made (a MUST at el gaucho) and we held hands, and played the part of the fabulous young couple out for a night on the town.

after a few numbers and a chat with musicians we returned to el gaucho to catch the end of the bananas foster being prepared tableside, flames and all. the table had also been adorned with fresh fruit and nuts and a slab of tangy, grainy gorgonzola that was in my opinion the perfect end to a great meal.

because i enjoy recieving my paycheck every other week, i often don't mention the workplace in my blog... but these grand nuggets of the last few weeks are too good to pass up:

1) the new buzz around the office is that the water bottles carrying our new logo arrived this week. mine squeaks every time i take a sip. at first i thought it was just me - but it's most of them. regardless, everone loves them and the noise in the lunchroom has raised a few decibles.

2) the dress code has changed! while we are still only allowed to wear denim once a month, capris and split skirts (also known as skorts!) are now acceptable professional attire.

3) i was informed by someone in the facilities department that while every employee "is entitled to have a chair" - thank god - only managers and supervisors may have a second chair at or around their desk. she promptly removed my guest chair. damn.

is anyone else attending webvisions next friday? i got the big thumbs up to go and the registration fee paid by 'the man' (my company, not the hubby) - but will i have anyone to eat lunch with?

i saw zeldman at webvisions a couple of years ago - the panel discussion was really great too. not a bad event, all in all.

i'm excited about this year too - the jeffrey veen keynote should be really interesting, and i get to wear jeans rather than my usual corporate attire. it's the little pleasures i guess...

i've previously mentioned my unhealthy obsession with america's next top model, and fortunately on tuesday the series came to an end. as i was hanging out with that man o' mine - i tivo'd it. hopefully lady j and i will have an estrogen fest this weekend and watch the last two hours whilst sipping on wine and painting our toenails.

i am loathe to admit however, that i spoiled the surprise by reading salon's wrap up, which was a good read. and even better - the interview with elyse (my personal fave) at steppin' out magazine.

today salon has an interesting piece regarding a recent op/ed piece in the ny times. brilliantly titled - a.s. byatt and the goblet of bile - the article attacks author and literary critic a.s. byatt for her scathing and short-sighted opinions on the harry potter phenomenon. as i read the salon article i found myself wanting to defend byatt, as she is one of my favorite authors. boy was that was a mistake.

in fact, byatt's oped was indeed short-sighted, and i was expecting a more academic approach to ripping poor potter to shreds. instead i found a scathing emotional pile of not much.

i've often found that if i don't agree with a critic, i generally find the deconstruction interesting enough to sustain interest in the critique. this was not the case:

Ms. Rowling's magic world has no place for the numinous. It is written for people whose imaginative lives are confined to TV cartoons, and the exaggerated (more exciting, not threatening) mirror-worlds of soaps, reality TV and celebrity gossip. Its values, and everything in it, are, as Gatsby said of his own world when the light had gone out of his dream, "only personal." Nobody is trying to save or destroy anything beyond Harry Potter and his friends and family.

It's clear that we're dealing here with an acolyte at the temple of high culture barring the doors as the ignorant masses who love pop culture come a knockin'. Loath as I am to resurrect the old canard accusing writers or critics who dislike a popular work of art of being jealous, in Byatt's case it might be true.

... but recently have lacked the motivation to follow through.

1) write wedding thank you notes
2) paint the purple column in the bedroom
3) switch blog to moveable type
4) find an acceptable photo gallery method
5) sort through, archive, upload last 6 months of photos
6) make white chocolate eclairs
7) edit wedding footage
8) buy the elusive freezer bag of blueberries @ farmer's market

adaptation - despite my natural aversion to nicholas cage, i adored this film. i only wished i was still studying theory with this guy, so that we could dedicate a bottle of wine and a few hours to such a fantastically crafted piece of work.

beer nearly came flying out of my mouth and dribbling out of my nose when it was suggested that a script should be written about an serial killer english teacher who butchered people by cutting them to little bits and called the "deconstructionist." and also, it helps to have read the orchid theif - only in that you do see the true problem that it would be to turn the book into a movie.

derrida would be proud, and wishing he had some of that great green powder.

old school (uncensored) - while the intellectual opposite of adaptation - this was still a grand movie. expect nothing and embrace the idiocy. in fact, i think watching the big guy watch the movie was nearly as funny as watching the movie itself...

in an effort to use up some ground beef in the fridge, and without leaving the house to acquire any supplies, i developed a superior recipe for a sloppy joe - a variation on this recipe from the food channel:

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil, 1 turn of the pan
1 1/4 pounds ground beef sirloin
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 1/2 tablespoon steak McCormick brand Montreal Seasoning
1/2 tablespoon onion powder
2 large shallots, chopped
3 tablespoon horseradish sauce
1 tablespoon worcestershire sauce
1 small can tomato paste
1 1/2 cups water
1/2 cup red wine
2 tomatos, chopped
salt to taste
4 crusty rolls, split and toasted

i was....
1) hissed at by a baby snake
2) standing in a creek in colton, oregon
3) nearly attacked by a light fixture
4) asleep by midnight

she don't wanna go to work on monday... (pardon the gratuitous wyclef reference)

so it's thursday morning - the last day of work before a three-day weekend. the weather is just gorgeous for p-town - it's supposed to be sunny and in the low 80s for the next few days. there's actually not even a cloud in the sky.

tonight the big guy and i are hoping to grill some meat and drink maragaritas with friends. he has to work every other night this weekend, so i will be on my own for entertainment as of tomorrow evening... it's a bit of a downer to know that i'll be without husband in the evenings and with sleeping husband during the daytime. we will have to squeeze much merriment into our afternoon time together. and it sucks that the tivo resides in the same room as my sleeping giant. i suppose i'll have to read. (it's tough! i know!)

i can tell that my day in the office is going to be painfully long and tiring. i'm already plotting my escape, hoping to get in a nice sweep and dustbusting around the homestead before company arrives.

oh well... here goes. wish me luck.

.... and because you really don't come here just to hear me bitch: read this, it's funny...

here's a good one via kottke.org:

So, when I fix it so I can control my TiVo via the web and buy an Apple iSight camera & point it at the television, I can watch Junkyard Wars and Family Guy at work via iChat AV, right?

a good part of last night was spent at the bar of one of the big guy's good friends. a dive to be sure, vic's tavern has a lovely view of the willamette river, and is decorated with dismembered baby dolls, bert and ernie paraphenalia, velvet paintings and religious iconography. one of my favorite details is a bumper sticker that hangs over the bar that proclaims "jesus is coming: look busy."

one of the other prominent features of vic's is the owner's dog - vic. now, this vic is not the vic the bar was named for... but he is an integral part of the setting. a furry german shepard-ish dog, he sort of mopes around the bar looking for some good ass scratchin' or a fry.

usually i have no fear of dogs, but once a few months back i was doing the ear rub thing and vic looked up at me with sheepish brown eyes and his lip curled under a bit. when a shepardish, 70 lb. dog gives me even what might be a growl, i tend to avoid them at all costs.

when i mentioned this to the big guy last night he just laughed. he described the facial expression as vic's way of smiling and called the dog over. he ambled over, feebly wagged, and looked up with those big brown eyes. once we were reaquainted, it was explained to me that only certain people should fear this vicious beast.

at this point, the bartender threw open the back door and said "vic! get the christians. get the christians, vic!" at which point the dog started barking like mad and raced outside searching the back porch and bushes for any sign of those pesky christians. after not finding any after 5 or so minutes, he trotted back inside and fell asleep at our feet.