i type this from the couch, feeling grumpy and frustrated. dizzy, grumpy and frustrated. i woke up yesterday morning with a headache the size of montana, which i thought was the residual mess left from an emotional outburst the night before. nothing like emotional outbursts to tear down my stress-battered immune system. a decongestant and an extra hour of sleep was my prescribed cure.

an hour later, the headache had subsided and i got up to get ready. whoa nelly. i felt like gravity had tripled and my head was swimming. fuck. emailed the office and set up camp on the couch.

it's nearly 24 hours later and i have gone through multiple cycles of feeling vaguely okay so i get up only to realize that i am dizzy, so i sit down, whine to husband, he tells me i need to eat, so i eat, i get naseous (occassionally running to the bathroom). then last night i finished off the whole evening with a headache the size of montana. then - once headache was drowned out by tylenol pm and i finally accomplished sleep, husband comes home (before midnight!) and says 'you gave me your plague juice!'

so yes. me, couch. sitting very, very still. if i sit very very still i feel ok. but if i move enough to grab any thing that may entertain me (laptop, knitting, cat) i get ill. i have a pile of work to do and have guilt in those moments of okay-feeling-stillness. i have always had guilt issues with being sick. spending a whole day on the couch watching the ellen show (even if you can't move or toss your cookies) is much too indulgent to be legitimate, right?

today i've got a hot date with a vpn. a vpn and a six pack of gingerale. sigh.